The Bus Within Us
A methodology of self-examination and interpersonal communication that can help us to notice what is moving inside us before we respond to what is happening around us.
In the tutorials, you will use the bus to check in, to create "I wonder…" questions, and to engage with other people's questions.
Why Are We Using the Bus?
We have often been trained to enter conversations as exchanges of opinions, with the hope of reaching consensus. Because of this, we may try to convince others of our positions before we have fully understood what is moving in the room, or inside ourselves.
We may react from the need to defend our image, protect our sense of being right or good, or fulfill hidden assumptions and expectations we have not yet examined.
The bus helps us pause. It gives us a way to notice complexity before responding, so that we can participate with more curiosity, honesty, humility, and responsibility.
The Basic Image
The Driver
The one who usually takes the steering wheel, but not always the wisest or loudest voice on board.
The Passengers
Some are easy to recognize. Some speak only sometimes. Some sit at the back and may be hiding from you.
The Observer
The bus helps you notice passengers and what is happening between them without immediately becoming them.
You Are Not Only One Passenger
Inside any moment, many voices may be present at once.
Defensive
Protecting something that feels threatened.
Curious
Genuinely wanting to understand.
Wanting to be seen
As good, smart, critical, or correct.
Wanting to leave
Overwhelmed or disengaged.
The bus helps you notice this plurality before one rogue passenger grabs the steering wheel.
Why the Bus Works
The bus has been tested for more than ten years across courses, research groups, institutional spaces, and difficult collective conversations.
Creates distance
Between reaction and response.
Reduces projection
Onto others in the room.
Brings complexity and paradoxes
To the table, not just opinions.
Goes deeper
Than the exchange of unexamined views.
Playfulness Matters
The bus is playful — and that is part of its rigour.
Metaphor activates imagination, humour, embodied sensing, and other ways of seeing, relating and learning.
Why metaphor?
It lets us speak about difficult things indirectly, without overexposing ourselves or becoming overwhelmed.
The playfulness is not a softening of the work. It is a doorway into it.
Reaction and Response
Reaction
Immediate. Automatic. Driven by whichever passenger is loudest in the moment.
Response
Requires a pause. Asks: Who is speaking right now inside of me? What is this passenger protecting? What is this passenger afraid of? Should this passenger be allowed to drive right now? Does this passenger has a driving license?
The bus creates the space between these two moments.
Projection
Sometimes what we cannot tolerate inside ourselves gets projected onto other people.
Fear becomes a story
A fear we cannot face may become a story about someone else being dangerous.
Shame becomes superiority
A shame we cannot hold may become moral superiority toward others.
The bus asks
What am I locating outside myself that may also be moving inside my bus?
Speaking from the Bus
Shifting language creates space for curiosity and accountability.
Instead of: "I am angry."
Try: "A passenger in my bus is angry."
Instead of: "I don't know what I think."
Try: "My bus is processing."
This small shift separates you from any single passenger — and opens the door to more honest conversation.
Check-In Language
In tutorial, you may be invited to name the state of your bus.
OK
Things feel sufficiently settled. You are present and ready.
Processing
Things are moving inside, but they do not need to be voiced yet.
Burning
Something feels intense, urgent, volatile, or difficult to hold and needs to be shared as a perspective.
"I Wonder…"
One key practice is to begin with "I wonder…" — it helps us stay curious. It interrupts the rush to affirm, defend, accuse, explain, diagnose, agree, disagree, or fix.
Examples
- I wonder what this passenger is protecting.
- I wonder what this resistance is teaching me.
- I wonder what my bus is trying not to know.
- I wonder what my bus is loyal to right now.
What Questions Would They Ask?
01
The most mature passenger
What am I not yet willing to see in myself that this conversation is asking me to face?
02
The least mature passenger
Why is everyone else getting this wrong?
03
The frightened passenger
What if I say something and it changes how people see me?
04
The passenger wanting control
How do I make sure this goes the way it needs to go to make me feel better?
05
The passenger carrying grief
Is there space here for what I have yet to mourn?
Decks of the Bus
The bus can have many decks — each representing a different scale of what is speaking inside you.
A deck helps us ask: What scale is speaking here?
Stretching the Metaphor
The bus image can be extended. You might ask:
Weather
What is the weather inside the bus?
Mechanics
Are the brakes working? Is there enough gas?
Terrain
Is the bus going uphill or downhill? Stuck in a roundabout?
Navigation
Who has the GPS? Who is trying to drive?
If another metaphor works better for you at first, it needs to hold movement, plurality, and dissonance or friction. Over time, your metaphor can be brought into conversation with the bus. The bus gives the group a shared language, making it easier to understand one another without needing to switch metaphors each time.
Your Preparation for Tutorial
Before tutorial, take time to ask yourself:
State of your bus
Is it OK, processing, or burning?
Which passengers are present?
What are they saying, thinking, feeling, or wanting to do?
Who might take the wheel?
Which passenger might try to drive today? Why do they want to drive right now?
Bring "I wonder…" questions
At least two. Come ready to observe, listen, question, and stay with the ride.
Stay with the ride.
The bus is not a destination. It is a practice that grows more useful the more honestly you travel with it.
Observe. Listen. Question. Notice who is speaking and whether they have a driving license.